Month: September 2014

Week 15.

Some nights, before I sleep, I will spend some time rubbing my tummy and just talking to baby. Some days I just lie in bed and think about how different our lives are gonna be with the addition of our little bub. It is an amazing feeling, and while I always said I didn’t want to have a baby now, there is no regrets. I believe the baby is here for a reason and it has changed my perspective of parenthood.

So last night, we had a tiring evening, went to attend a “sales talk” for almost 2 hours, I sat till my back was aching and my eyes was closing. Well even if I was not pregnant, I couldn’t sit through such talks, I usually shut off after an hour, im a person who cant sit still so I have to walk around or do something else. So the 2 hours yesterday proved to be challenging especially being pregnant, I was starting to feel tired. When we got home, and when I was finally in bed, I spent a while rubbing my tummy, and I was reading my phone, the update from Baby Centre says that “Starting this week, any stomach rumblings you feel may be your baby trying out some acrobatics, since she can now move all her limbs. If you don’t feel anything, it’s nothing to worry about, especially if you’re a first-time mum. If this is your first pregnancy, you’re more likely to feel your baby move between 18 and 20 weeks. Your baby is becoming sensitive to light. Anxious to know whether she’s really a she or actually a he? Your baby’s external genitals are probably developed enough by now that your next scan could make a good guess at the sex.”

Ooh! That got me excited cos indeed I have been feeling this tummy rumblings like im hungry, so I tried to hold my palm against my tummy with some pressure, and OH MY GOD, I felt a slight vibration. I thought I got it wrong, so I tried it again and then I felt it, a small fluttery bubbly push against my belly. Called the hubs in to try and he also placed his palm against my tummy and he felt it! At first he thought it was my heartbeat, but soon he realised it was random and it was not in sync with my heartbeat and breathing. So it was baby moving around! I said “baby baby kick again and ill sing you a song!” and then i felt it again. and so i sang twinkle twinkle little star. and then i tried again and it works! so i sand mary had a little lamb. HAH!

So amazing. There is a baby inside me!

I cant wait for the next visit to Dr Siow. I need to see my baby! And I cant wait to see how much he/she has grown.

We are almost 40% into the pregnancy, I need to cherish these moments before I have baby in my arms. Pregnancy is a happy thing and I wanna remember the good moments more than the bad. After all, a happy mummy makes a happy baby, right?

This pregnancy was unplanned, I wasn’t ready to go into motherhood, I did not visit any gynae prior to being pregnant and I definitely was not on any supplements to prepare the body for pregnancy. So truth be told, I wasn’t happy when I found out I was pregnant…. That was until the day we first went to the gynae and I saw that little speck on the screen. My heart instantly melted and I knew whether I like it or not, this baby is mine and I have 40 weeks to prepare for it.

We just did up our house and to be honest, we didn’t plan for a baby so fast and hence the reno wasn’t done with consideration of having a baby in the home so soon. Our bed room is a platform bed and that means we have limited space on how to place the cot. If given a choice again, I may just decide to save the money we spent on the platform so that our space will be better utilised. Next, our toilets both have shower screen, I only realised now that that means we will have a tough time bathing the bub. I would have not built a shower screen in one of the toilets so we have the freedom of space to squat in the toilet for showertime. We knocked down one room and converted it to a walk in bed room. I don’t exactly regret this seeing how small the HDB houses are now, but this only mean we have 1 room spare. At the moment, all our junk is stored there. Hah. We did not build a wardrobe for the spare room, which means we have no where to store the bub’s clothes and items now! Its either we buy a off-the-shelf wardrobe and pray it fits properly or we get our contractor to come to make a made-to-measure one. We did not do window grills, obviously cos we thought we could do this later on and save the cost for other things now. Not that we need the window grills now but it would be good to have in time to come when the bub is 1 year old. And we could have saved the hassle of dust and dirt if we did it together during reno.

Other than that, I love being pregnant. Although the first trimester proved to be utterly exhausting and many times I just wish I could rest at home, but I forced myself up to come to work and still lead a normal life, there are reasons why I enjoy going through this.

1)      Its not really about me right now. Its about the baby. Everything I do will affect the baby, and I love it that someone depends on me so much. Plus it was like a little Secret before we could announce. A little secret between the Hubs, the bubs and me!

2)      I don’t feel guilty eating more than usual. I don’t crave for anything unhealthy in particular like sweets or desserts or chips, im thankful that my cravings are like plain water and apples. These are 2 of the items I never used to like but am taking it in large quantity lately. I used to try to eat less of carbo and fried food, but now, hey! Its not me! It’s the baby! Heck it and eat away! HAHA. Guilt Free, yo!

3)      Sleeping. I loveeeeeeeeeeee sleeping! And now, no one can say anything when I am tired and need a snooze. Heheheee

4)      The excitement! We look forward to seeing our gynae so that we can see our bub growing and moving and squirming around. I cant wait for the day I can feel him/her moving in me. This excitement gives me a reason to be happy each day.

5)      I am soooooo pampered and special. The mom makes bird nest for me, the in laws cook for me, the cousins indulge me, the best friend and I have more chats now that she is a new mummy and im soon-to-be, the hubs gives in to me all the time, gives me back rubs till I fall asleep, does the housework, cleans up the dog, carries my bag so I don’t get backache. Who doesn’t love this treatment? HEEE

6)      Anyone loves shopping? I have every reason to spend money now! My clothes don’t fit! I need new clothes! Baby needs clothes too! Hey that onesie is too cute, how about this mitten? Baby need socks! Shopping sans the guilt. *thumbs up*

7)      Having a life who depends on me also motivates me to be happy, to eat healthy, to stay healthy and to eliminate bad habits. This motivation also rubs on the hubs. He has to be healthy to be able to take care of me. When he is sick, I run the risk of falling sick too, and that’s a big nono because preggie mama have limited medication to take! Who doesn’t love a healthy and happy life?

8)      Using pregnancy as an excuse. Yesterday the hubs went to claim carpark but the shopping mall member card was under my name. the counter girl said I have to be there personally to do the claim and the hubs used the magic word “but she is waiting for me there and sheeeeeeeee issssssssss preeeeeeggggggggggnanttttttttttttt”. Woahhhh just like that, she processed and gave hubs the carpark ticket, no 2^nd qn asked. When we were dining and I needed to change some dishes cos I couldn’t eat, we just had to go “im pregnant and I cant eat this”. TADA! Like magic!

9)      Conversation starters. Suddenly I reconnected with many of my friends – those who have upgraded to mummy status. We started talking again and the new found conversations are enlightening and I feel that I have a support group going on somewhere.

10)   Knowing that from now on, we will never be just us 2 anymore. Our family is expanding and that’s something to rejoice in.

So hey, not that bad after all! I should relish in this experience before week 40 comes along.

Its week 14 now and I got 26 more weeks to go!

 

You know what I hate most about first-time-parent-advises? That people will use their own experience and then assume it is the best and force their opinion on you. And no matter what you say about your own research, they throw your idea out and still insist on their way. Hey you know what? I had enough, it just stops me from wanting to talk to you any further because it is just a one-sided conversation anyway.

1)      Your baby and you. THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. My baby and i? We got our own dynamics going on. What works for you may not work for us. So stop forcing what you do for your baby down my throat. Unless you want to give me your baby.

2)      We have different way of life, which means, how I travel to work or how I travel around is different from you. If you need a big ass stroller because you need to hang a lot of things or carry a lot of things, that is your problem, not mine! While I am thankful I got my own ride and that I will likely not face difficulty travelling ard in public transport, I also know that I may eat my words one day when I need to somehow rely on public transport.

3)      Not everyone has the budget like you. Everyone sets aside their own budget to buy things. While its not that we are poor and we need to beg for 2^nd hand items, I still think it is feasible for some items to be hand me down, of course I will not compromise on safety or hygiene. If we see a good deal of a brand new, of course there is no questions asked. Everyone wants the best for their child.

4)      Your pregnancy and mine is different. Thank you for LOL-ing when you ask how am I and I say I am still nauseous and vomiting. You know what? I hope karma strikes you back.

5)      Don’t say things like “next time you will know” when I rebuke your advises. Don’t make me sound like I will regret if I don’t listen to you. You must have gone through the “regret” stage which is where you got to now. But that doesn’t mean I will regret whatever I will or will not do. As I said. Our babies are different beings. What works for you may not work for me.

6)      It is up to me to find out what works for me and my baby. I wouldn’t know until my baby is out right? Until then, I will need to assume and make the best decision I think should be.

7)      Babies are precious. Especially our own. That I know. So please don’t think that I will make decisions that will possibly be bad for us.

8)      Money do not drop from the sky. While I really love a Stokke, it is not practical and will not make a difference to how I transport my baby around so a Capella will do for now. I also really love a Medela Freestyle, but if a Spectra M1 can do the same job or if not better, at 1/3 the price, why not? The money saved can be used for so much more things.

9)      What you buy may not be the best, same goes for me. What I buy may not be the best but if it works, why not? Maxi Cosi is the leading brand for Car Seats. I also know that fixing on the car with isofix is the best choice. But if I find a Joie suitable for me but uses seat belt for installation, why not? All manufacturers would have gone through safety checks to ensure that products are safe for selling. Some people tell me don’t need to buy so ex cos seldom bring baby out. Some say it is a long term investment so better to buy a good one. For me, I do not need a high end one because I believe an average one would be able to perform the same safety function as an expensive one. I also intend to bring my baby out often, hence I will definitely get one which is from new born – 4 yrs old type. But then again, I wouldn’t know until baby is out. I also heard of cases where baby refuses to sit in the car seat. So we just have to wait and see.

10)   I don’t care if you are done with your new born items. I am not a dumping ground. Yes I did say I don’t mind hand me downs, but its selective and im not a rubbish bin. Things like used breast pump, no thanks! Things like baby wipes, no thanks! Things like baby soap, no thanks! Do you even use your brain before asking if I want it? Hygiene is important, yo!

As first time parents, we have a lot of wish list, we wish our babies will sit in car seat quietly. We wish baby will sleep through the night. We wish baby will breastfeed successfully. We wish we got enough milk supply. We wish baby is a happy baby. But you know what? Every baby is different and hence every first-time-parent experience is different. While advises are well appreciated, it is really not necessary to put more stress on first time parents by forcing your idea down on them. It really makes them feel like they have no choice and will regret if they do not listen to you.

Ok, end of rant.